What Am I Doing Up?

Full disclosure: I almost named this blog “Matutulog Ka Pa Ba, Ate?”

I was reading Damn Good Advice by George Lois* the other day whilst plaintively nibbling on a cookie and it hit me: when was the last time I actually wrote something other than a social media update?

A few years ago, I had the good fortune of being chosen for a piece in a major daily. If you are reading this in 2017, I profusely apologize for my incessant yapping about that article. I am embarrassed that I wore that article like a badge. My few (insufferable) minutes of (pretend) fame led me to believe that I had done something remarkable.

What made the whole affair even more embarrassing was that I didn’t actually write about anything else other than a break-up. Would my grandchildren care if they read about their grandma cooking spaghetti tearfully using an obsolete stove? (I imagine that by the year 2037, all food would be in pellets) Would my nauseatingly maudlin piece stand the test of time? (Spoiler alert: no) Was that piece truly the legacy I wanted to leave behind? (Am I Taylor Swift?)

But that was 5 years ago, and I had not written anything truly life-changing since then. Ironically, my own life took several sharp but pleasant turns right after that article was published. I’ve switched careers, gotten married, moved homes, adopted 8 cats (early warning: this blog will be full of them), met new friends that are now family, and decided to eschew all forms of hair straightening. My brand new life was swirling around me, like a montage in a solid B-movie.

So what now? Why now? And what am I doing up? Is the unexamined life truly not worth living?** (Time check: It’s 2:50am)

The honest answer to all above is I DON’T KNOW. (Except Plato’s question ha. If you answered ‘no’ to that, I will give you several books and a mirror to aid you). Maybe I’m doing this because I need to pause and examine my own life while it is happening. Perhaps, too, it is to take steps towards my even more embarrassing dream to be the Filipina Mindy Kaling (author, comedienne, all-around bad-ass). I also have this teeny tiny feeling that I’m doing this because I want to be Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail (I have my NY152 already though).

For whatever reason, it feels good to really share something substantial of myself. Beyond my feeble attempts to make friends laugh (at/with me) on social media.

Thanks for reading.

*Subtle mention of a book title to seem educated and smart. Did it work?

**Pume-Plato ang walanghiya